An oldie, but a goodie

[Smallflame]

A Fireman's Little Girl


   
I am very dedicated to my work. I wear firefighter shirts every day, even when I’m not on duty. The fire department is my second home, and my second family. It often seems as if my life revolves around the fire department, but it means nothing compared to my little girl. I am normally a very friendly person, but if you hurt my little girl you will make me mad. I know my little girl is growing up, even if I don’t like it. She seems to like you, so I’ll tolerate you dating her, but here are a few things for you to think about while you’re with her:

First of all, I go into burning buildings to save people that I’ve never even seen before, you can’t imagine how protective I am of my little girl.

I once broke a man’s sternum by accident while doing CPR to save his life. If that’s how I help people what do you think I do when I’m pissed off?

I investigate arson fires. I know exactly what clues to look for to prove it was arson…so I also know how to make sure nobody can tell how a fire started... and I know where you live. Remember Backdraft?

I’ve worked more car accidents than you’ll ever see, the sight of blood doesn’t bother me one little bit.

It’s normal for me to carry chainsaws, axes, and various other extremely sharp tools in my car..touch my little girl and me and you take a little ride.

When we burn down a house for training, nobody ever looks in the closets.

I use the jaws of life to tear doors off wrecked cars. They cut though solid metal like a hot knife through butter. So watch your paws or get the jaws.

Sirens and air horns can really muffle the sounds of someone screaming.

Most of my friends are cops, paramedics, or firefighters. WE ARE 911. If you make me mad who do you think you’re going to call for help?

I have access to explosives.

I am well trained in emergency medicine. I know exactly which arteries are the easiest to sever and which ones bleed the most. (remember all the sharp tools?)

Even though my little girl insists that you are a “nice guy” and not like most other guys, I know better. I was once your age, I know EXACTLY what you’re thinking. Because of that I already have plenty of reasons to not like you. It wouldn’t take much at all to push me over the edge, and I just sharpened my axe.

So if you want to date my little girl you better keep these things in mind. Fireman are protective by nature, and there is nothing we are more protective of than our little girls. Whenever you're alone with her, you better remember that someday you may be alone with me!

[Alan (Big Al)]

A man asks a bloke about the difference between education and training and the bloke replies,
Which would you rather your daughter do, sex education or sex training.....

[SA Firey]

A man who has been dating a model for a couple of years suddenly finds himself being pressed for a "COMMITMENT" from his girl,and she says she wants to go ring shopping.
Reluctantly he accompanies his partner to the local jewellery shop.

After what seemed like a lifetime for the man his partner says "I know which one I like" and he casts his eyes over a beautiful diamond encrusted gold ring she points to.

How much is this one he asks the jeweller?
That one is $50,000
$50,000!
Er look the mans says I dont have that sort of cash with me, but will you take a cheque,and I will collect the ring on Monday morning so it
will clear before I pick it up.
"Yes thats ok" says the jeweller
He writes out a cheque for $50,000
The jeweller says "Thanks see you all on Monday"
The couple leave the store

Monday comes and the bank contacts the jeweller and says the cheque he deposited for $50,000 has bounced

Furious the jeweller rings the man on his mobile and says "hey that cheque you gave me bounced"

The man says "Yeah I know but can you imagine the weekend I had"