Earthquake in Elizabeth

[strikeathird]

This joke I grabbed from another forum.... Replace elizabeth with what ever area... Thats just how the joke was written.. No offence by me intended (I didn't write or edit the joke)... As this thread says.. "The humour zone"... Don't take the joke too seriously :P
_____________________________-

News flash: Earthquake in Elizabeth

A major earthquake measuring 7.8 on the Richter scale, has hit Australia in the early hours of this morning, with the epicenter believed to be the Northern Adelaide suburb of Elizabeth

Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly muttering, "F'kin ell" and "Whadda carnt".
The earthquake has completely decimated the area, leaving a damage bill expected to exceed more than $3000. Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed.

Many locals were woken well before their welfare cheques arrived. SA FM radio reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered, still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in the area.
One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said; "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay Mercedes came running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Megan-Storm slept through it all.
I was still shaking when I was watching Jerry Springer later in the morning".

The people of Elizabeth are a resilient community and evidence of a full recovery can already been seen, with looting, muggings and car crime carrying on as normal.
The aid response from local charities has been swift. The Red Cross has so far managed to ship 1,000 crates of Vegemite to the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings which include Centrelink booklets, Central District Football club shirts, Priceline jewellery and fine bone china from Go- Lo. The Red Cross seeks to raise money for food and clothing, to be air-dropped as parcels for those unfortunate to be caught up in this disaster.

Donations of clothing are in demand, Items most needed include baseball caps; tracksuit tops (his and hers); blk and white T-shirts, stretch cotton flower patterned pants for ladies, flannelette shirts (female); white sport socks; sturdy boots; thongs; and any other items usually sold in "Op" Shops.

Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same. Required foodstuffs include,lollies, McDonalds, KFC, ice cream or cans of UDL Bourbon and Coke; Passion Pop and Victoria Bitter. Charities are also accepting cash donations through any Coles Liquorland outlet. $0.25 buys a ball point pen for filling in compensation forms; $5.00 buys chips, sausages, gherkins, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of nine; $10.00 will buy a packet of Winfield Blues 25s and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.
Aid agencies have requested that no tents be sent into the affected suburb, as the sight of posh housing is unfair on the population of the neighboring areas.

[calspec]

LMFHO

[strikeathird]

:D


Just remember all.. its just a joke tho.. and no.. i didn't write it.. So dont get pi$$ed at me if you live there and take offence...  Its just a joke ;)

[oz fire]

:-D :lol: :cry: tears of laughter - very good striker - have already copied it and sent it to a few using other suburbs :-D :-D

[strikeathird]

hehehe  :mrgreen:

[PF_]

:lol:

[Alan (Big Al)]

Best one yet by far striker!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[F.B.R.T]

Fantastic!!!!

Absolutely p..... myself laughing! :-D

Keep up the good work.

[CFS_Firey]

Hehe, this still amuses me, even weeks later... Good work mate :D

[Robert-Robert34]

I know its only for laughs  :lol: but we should wake up to the fact that an earthquake of that magnitude is likely to hit Adelaide without warning

According to disaster records on the EMA website an earthquake hit Adelaide on the 01/03/1954 causing $90M in damage

[CFS_Firey]

Wow, theres an interesting (disturbing) fact... I didn't know there had been one here so recently (of that scale).. they don't come in a 50 year cycle do they? :P

[Robert-Robert34]

the magnitude of this earthquake was 5.5 it must have been pretty strong to cause $90M in damage plus it struck at 3:45am....according to a calculation i did on a calculator Adelaide should have had another 1954 or stronger earthquake 2 years ago

So we all better watch our backs cause if it didnt happen on a 50 year scale meaning in 2004 who knows when it will strike again  :? :| :-(

[strikeathird]

http://www.adelaide.edu.au/news/news652.html


It didn't cause 90M in damage..

"The quake, which happened at about 3.40am on March 1, 1954, was about the same size as the Newcastle earthquake in 1989," Dr Griffith says. "The Adelaide quake caused about £3 million damage but thankfully - and perhaps luckily - no-one died. If a similar quake occurred today, we estimate the cost would be more than $1 bi0llion"


Calculations on the calculater ? 



What were they ?

[Sleepy]

Calculations on the calculater ? 



What were they ?

1954 + 50

:-D

[Toast]

Maths incoming.... Apologies if it doesnt make sense... its late
(≠ means 'is not equal to')

Rumbling Noise + Wobbling Ground + Bits of stuff falling on head = Earthquake

If x = Earthquake

then

X + Adelaide ≠ Damage in Kalangadoo

but infact

X +  Adealide = USAR work for MFS, supported by SES

if Work for SES ≠ Cutting up trees/cooking/tarping

then SES =  :?


Dont get your noses out of joint, its all in fun!

[medevac]

X +  Adealide = USAR work for MFS, supported by SES

if Work for SES ≠ Cutting up trees/cooking/tarping

then SES =  :?


Dont get your noses out of joint, its all in fun!

my god... ur a complete tool.

[Toast]

Ah geeze, there had to be one... I knew there had to be one...

[probie_boy]

:-D

[medevac]

Ah geeze, there had to be one... I knew there had to be one...

well with an IQ as obviously high as yours you must attract negative comments all the time... it just makes sense, dont bag ppl/groups on public forums where anybody could be reading...

[probie_boy]

gotta agree with that last line of medevac's. we often forget that its not just members on here!

man, the mood, here died down quickly!

[CFS_Firey]

mmmm... perhaps we should get back to the subject? hahaha, good joke striker! :D

[PF_]

:lol:

Yep, funny joke and so true :-P

[Toast]

Wait, wait, wait! We are laughing in a thread that is poking fun at a group of people based on an incorrect stereotype, yet when (in the same thread) ANOTHER joke is made about a group of people based on an incorrect stereotype my IQ gets insulted? What?

*shakes head*

[strikeathird]

Toast has a fair point there...


Any way... this thread was all for fun.. but like freaking everything.. gets blows off topic or wayyyy outa context..



####!

[medevac]

its the hook... with the bait... that gets me.