Author Topic: Friends / relations in an incident  (Read 8352 times)

Offline CFS_Firey

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Friends / relations in an incident
« on: August 19, 2005, 04:39:02 PM »
I had my first incident which involved someone I knew last week. A firend I wen tot school with was in an MVA, luckily she wasn't hurt, and it was and easy incident, but it still shook me up a bit as I wasn't expecting it...

As a lot of accidents happen near home, I would imagine that CFS volunteers would be attending a lot of Incidents that involve friends and family. However as this is my first in 3 years or responding, maybe its not that common?

How many of you have been to an incident that involved a friend or family member, and how did you deal with it (on the scene and afterwards)?

Offline Fire_Rescue96

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Re: Friends / relations in an incident
« Reply #1 on: August 19, 2005, 08:18:38 PM »
I have been to a couple in about 5yrs but not really too many. I really just treat it like any other incident because as soon as you start to worry more about your friend then you are pretty much useless on the job.
I have never been to one with a relation but I could imagine that it would prob be different to a friend
When I am called to duty, God wherever flames may rage, Give me strength to save a life, whatever be its age.

rescue5271

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Re: Friends / relations in an incident
« Reply #2 on: August 20, 2005, 09:01:35 PM »
I have been to a few in the past few years,the most recent was a family member who was killed and this has had a big impact on my family but not so much myself. You deal with it as best as you can but there have been times that I wish I was not there as I have been asked question by family and there are things you just cant say but you want to.

 The best way to get over this is to talk about to those that where there,in the past few weeks my community has lost 5 people due to MVA and two of them I have links with from work or throu friends and they all ask the same questions and yet again you cant say anything better still I was not at these jobs..

Its hard but we get through it .....

Offline mengcfs

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Re: Friends / relations in an incident
« Reply #3 on: August 22, 2005, 02:38:29 PM »
I have been to a few where locals and/or relatives have been involved in MVA's and fatals. It is not uncommon in smaller communities where a CFS Brigade is situated.  Most of the time in smaller communities the Brigade members are pretty close knit so Brigade members talk in house to each other and cope that way. Also i can't say enough about our SPAM team - they are FANTASTIC.
Adam

Offline Mike

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Re: Friends / relations in an incident
« Reply #4 on: August 23, 2005, 05:25:59 PM »
So true Adam.

A lot of the time it comes down to fellow crew member recognising that something is not quite right, and having a chat about it.

SPAM is always there, and as soon as an officer realises the person is known, should make the appropriate arrangements. Sometimes it seems as though they are wasting your time.... but down the track a bit when you stop and think about it, they really do help a lot....

Offline FF_Rayner

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Re: Friends / relations in an incident
« Reply #5 on: August 24, 2005, 10:18:45 AM »
i remember seeing an article in the courier a while ago about a volenteer who went to a RCR job and found out it was her dad. She was told to sit somewhere else.

As for SPAM, ALL HAIL JIMMY!!!
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Offline oz fire

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Re: Friends / relations in an incident
« Reply #6 on: August 24, 2005, 04:43:27 PM »
Thank goodness there is SPAM - now there is a service that CFS has right, better still we appear to lead the way in it :-D :-D :-D

I personally believe the in house debrief and looking after each other is still a great method - there are few people in this world that can associate with what we see, deal with and do - although insular, your peers and crew mates are often a great source of assistance and in talking it helps all involved.

PS - Don't forget those who didn't attend the scene/incident, as we have seen with strike teams and interstate deployments, they are also effected, just in a differnet way
Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the ability to control it.

strikeathird

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Re: Friends / relations in an incident
« Reply #7 on: August 25, 2005, 12:13:05 AM »
I think SPAM are one of the mose over looked services, in way of credit and recognition.  They provide a fantastic support service, second to non.  Hopefully in the future we will be able to show out appreciation further for this team of fantastic people!

Offline CFS_Firey

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Re: Friends / relations in an incident
« Reply #8 on: August 27, 2005, 01:19:54 AM »
I think SPAM are one of the Most over looked services, in way of credit and recognition. They provide a fantastic support service, second to non. Hopefully in the future we will be able to show out appreciation further for this team of fantastic people!
Absolutely right strikeathird! I think they might be one of the most underused services too. Although I wouldn't want to add unnecessary load to their team, I think they should be used more. One place in particular is for new member's first RCR's... Sometimes the more experienced blokes don't realise how bad an incident seems for the younger members (I know I've become very insensitive to it)

rescue5271

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Re: Friends / relations in an incident
« Reply #9 on: August 27, 2005, 08:46:24 AM »
I think from a early stage well before we get back to the station we need to talk about the job on the way home I know we do and we still have a debrief at the station. SPAM is over looked and we are very lucky to have a member in our brigade who is part of that team as well as a staff member at the region. I can still hear teh words of my first CFA captain who said to me "YOUR A MAN NOW STOP CRYIN"
that was after a very bad a nasty MVA.

strikeathird

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Re: Friends / relations in an incident
« Reply #10 on: August 27, 2005, 04:19:51 PM »
That captain needs a slap in the head.  Unfortunately that was the way of the "old school".

Offline kat

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Re: Friends / relations in an incident
« Reply #11 on: August 28, 2005, 03:11:11 PM »
I guess almost ineveitable when serving a small community.

Once had a 12 yo lad hit by a bike on a truck who I had known since he was 4 and had spent many a night in my home.

I sort of felt that if any one had to be there doing what I was doing then I was glad it was me doing this last service for the lad. Not at all pleasant, of course :-(

Not a SPAM type person myself but yes they are wonderful and provide everything from group sessions to individual confidential sessions that are helpful and non judgemental.

Now be a man and stop crying!!  (JOKE - what a horrendous thing for anyone to say!!!!!!!!!!)
There's a difference between genius and stupidity -- genius has it's limits.

rescue5271

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Re: Friends / relations in an incident
« Reply #12 on: September 03, 2005, 08:50:32 AM »
It will always be hard for brigades that are in small communitys who deal not only with MVA but all the other fire/rescue things we deal with  as we all know each other. In a large urban area people dont know each other like they do in the country and urban members who move into rural areas learn fast not to talk to much as people all know each other.......

Offline backburn

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Re: Friends / relations in an incident
« Reply #13 on: September 23, 2005, 10:44:47 AM »
I went to a motor bike v sandy buggy m v a and found out at the scene that the motor bike rider was my son, my partner and daughter are members as well, we all wear on the truck. So if we stood away from the incident we only had 3 other members to do anything so we helped out and went to the hospital after we had finished. No spam was called did not no about them until a few weeks later by then it was too late, so we where told. All okay now.

rescue5271

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Re: Friends / relations in an incident
« Reply #14 on: September 23, 2005, 01:37:04 PM »
Firstly,i hope your son was alright,but here is a good example of where members did not know about SPAM may be its time to spread the word that they are here.Its never too late for a chat to a spam member.....

Offline oz fire

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Re: Friends / relations in an incident
« Reply #15 on: September 23, 2005, 04:19:03 PM »
Maybe someone needs to talk to the Admin officer - there have been many, many psoters about SPAM teams over the past few years - I think my station has three different ones up (mind you it took a new admin officer to find all three - and many other posters that had come out)
Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the ability to control it.

Offline JamesGar

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Re: Friends / relations in an incident
« Reply #16 on: September 25, 2005, 09:21:59 PM »
Would like to share a couple of thing on this topic. Been involved in some pretty ugly stuff throughout my 10 years with CFS and 8 with SAAS. Couple of standout things have been cutting an girlfriend out of her car after she hit a tree headon. Probably the worst though was driving an Ambulance on a priority 1 case through a green light intersection and having a p plate driver turn in front of us and t boning the other car at 80 kmph. All 3 occupant of that car ended up critically injured, but surviving.

It took me about 6 months after my work accident to decide to talk to someone, but in that 6 months thing certainly were rough! Can't recommend Jill Scott enough!

What we see and deal with is undoubtably stressful. Property loss, Loss of life, injured animals, the list can go on. They way that people deal with this stress is a very individual thing. It's often not the big bad incident that causes people to break at the edges, but the small incident that remiind them of something they've seen, smelt, heard, etc.

I think SPAM or CISD has a place, but no one at any stage should be forced to be involved. I often find it harder to deal with a CISD than dealing with the incident itself. I often think the best debrief for a crew is the informal chat in the truck on your way back to the station or whilst cleaning up at the station with a coffee. In the SAAS world the often long chat that you see the guys and girls in green having at hospital is a similar event. First and foremost though, you've got to have a sense of humour...
James Gardiner
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Re: Friends / relations in an incident
« Reply #17 on: September 27, 2005, 04:25:55 AM »
Good call James, forcing someone can sometimes make them repress even more, like a stubborn child, the more you force them the less likely they are to do it.

rescue5271

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Re: Friends / relations in an incident
« Reply #18 on: September 29, 2005, 01:43:01 PM »
There is a introduction to SPAM tonight here in Naracoorte for anyone that wants to come along starts at 1930 hrs at the Naracoorte fire station...Part of the spam team will be here.

Offline Alan (Big Al)

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Re: Friends / relations in an incident
« Reply #19 on: October 19, 2005, 08:42:15 PM »
BEEN TO 3 ACCIDENTS THAT I HAVE KNOWN THE PEOPLE. THE FIRST WAS A GOOD FRIEND THAT WAS KILLED IN A HIT RUN FEW YEARS BACK THAT WAS PRETTY TOUGH, A GUY I WENT TO SCHOOL WITH AND KNEW WELL HIT A TREE AND DIED, AND HAD TO CUT THE SISTER OF ONE OF OUR MEMBERS OUT OF A CAR ONE CHRISTMAS. HOPEFULLY THEY ARE THE LAST OF THOSE I GO TO BUT AROUND HER I DOUBT IT. IN EACH CASE SPAM WAS TERRIFIC
Lt. Goolwa CFS