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David:
Important info for all Emergency workers

Material Safety Data Sheet
Date of issue :- 08/08/09

MANUFACTURER’S OR SUPPLIERS DETAILS
Company :- Coopers Brewery
Address :- 69 Lipsmacking Rd Anywhere 5999
Telephone:- 85550069
Emergency Number :- 000

IDENTIFICATION
Product Name :- Coopers Pale Ale
Other Names :- Beer, mothers milk, piss, amber fluid, ale, lager, tonsil varnish.
Manufacturers Code :- Number 1.
UN Number :- Geneva 0055 041042043
Dangerous Goods Class :- 8 will damage living tissue.
Poison Schedule :- Only if taken internally

USE
Taken internally, usually by mouth.

PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION AND PROPERTIES
Appearance :- Bitter, cloudy, viscous liquid. Does not mix with water.
Boiling Point  :- 6 bottles
Melting Point :- 12 bottles.
Flash Point :- Arrival of partner.
Lower Explosive Limit :- 6 bottles plus pizza
Upper Explosive Limit :- 12 bottles plus pizza followed by reverse order.
Soluble in Water :- Sacrilege

INGREDENTS
Hops, barley malt, sugar and a splash of H2O

HEALTH HAZARD INFORMATION
Health Effects :-
   Acute
Swallowed – tongue can become furry. Can result in nausea & vomiting but don’t let this faze you.
Eye – always keep on your drink.
Skin – don’t wash in it but alright to wash hair.
Inhaled – best to drink it.
   Chronic
Bloodshot eyes, red nose, continuous farting followed by kidney failure and eventually a glorious death.
First Aid :- Drink lying down, not so far to fall..
Advice to Doctors :- Stop drinking.

PRECAUTION FOR USE
Exposure Standards :- No more than a couple a day.
Engineering Controls :- Glass is best.
Personal Protection :- Condoms make no difference.
Storage & Transport :- Best stored within body but leave transport to others.
Spills & Disposal :- Avoid spills at all costs and only dispose against wall/tree.
Fire Hazard :- Excessive consumption can lead to fart lighting contests.
Driving Safety :- Remain in passenger seat. 

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